Women of the world listen up!

So women of the world I hope that your listening because I have something to say. Some of you might not agree, some of you might think I’m lying and some of you might just find it interesting, I’m not really bothered what people think 🙂

I want to talk about this ridiculous thing that seems to get all women saying compliments to each other, that are sometimes so over the top it boarders on ridiculous.

I want to talk about “loving yourself”.

Now here is the main problem that I have with this concept, it excludes all other forms of love and makes some women obsess over finding it. I have been told so may times that someone will not love you till you learn to love yourself, well that’s a load of rubbish if you ask me. Lots of people love lots of people who really don’t love themselves. I wake up everyday and there is something I don’t like about myself, it’s part of being a human I’m afraid.

I don’t think that if one day I wake up suddenly loving myself that will instantly make me more attractive and therefore more worthy of someones love. Sadly it is the things that we don’t like about ourselves that some people will love about us, or at least not find as bothersome as we do.

I also think that this eternal quest for self love has to stop here. It is ruining relationships and standing in the way of ultimately finding happiness (which is more important than waking up everyday and loving your wonky big toe). People are pushing good, honest people away in the pursuit of self love. The crazy things people will do to find this self love is somewhat laughable. I have known people change the way they look, who they hang out with, hobbies the lot. Is there nothing we will not do to make ourselves love ourselves.

I think better than self love is acceptance. I accept that there will always be things that I don’t like about me, some of them I can change some of them I can’t but it is okay. It is okay not to like yourself sometimes. But what is not okay is to feel so down about it and alone that you think no one could help you. This I will not accept.

I want to let everyone know who struggles with self love and even self acceptance that we all do. We are all human and more importantly we can all communicate. This is something we should do more of. We need to let people know that we are there for them whatever happens and no matter what mood they are in. It is my personal mission this year to be there for people more (sometimes whether they like it or not). I know personally the power of support and I really think that is way more important than “self love”. Simply letting someone know that you know how it feels and even if you don’t know that you are sympathetic and willing to listen.

Society tries so hard to make us conform to a certain mould and way of conducting ourselves that I think we have lost exactly that. Self. We need to own ourselves and make more time for both us and others. Making more time to focus on the things we enjoy with the people who enjoy them also is what really matters in life.

It is time to stop judging people (although this will still happen, jealously is green eyed for a reason) and start being there for them when they need us.

I know that this has probably not gone the way that you thought it would but I just cant stand “self love” any more. It doesn’t work and to many good people have been ruined in the pursuit of it.